What They Didn't Want To Lose
by Kazima Kuwabara
Summary: Yusuke can't sleep he keeps having nightmares, though he knows the dark tournament is over and he can go home, he keeps walking up, finding that watching the man that almost gave it all for him is the only thing that calms him.


I dun own anything! this is not a yaoi, ((though if you're wondering I am working on a very good one,)) but it might be taken that way if you want too. But I can also be taken with deep brotherly affection, so with out further delay...

1234

Rolling in his covers, a young teen's dreams dwelled on everything that was terrible, on everything that was cold. These dreams pushed him in the waves of fire and ice, and smothered his screams, with its own loud roar. He was going to drown and die if something didn't happen to make these dreams stop, but luckily something did free him from the terrible nightmares.

He woke up.

Yusuke Urameshi sat up, and jumped out of his hotel bed. He looked around the room, trying to remember where he was. His frantic brown eyes caught sight of a pair of dirty, bloody, torn, blue pants lying on a coffee table, and it all came back to him.

The Dark Tournament...

It was over...

Finally over...

Yusuke looked around seeing Kurama asleep in his bed, red hair shining even in the darkness of the room. Hiei, for once was in his bed, and not in some unknown area. He slept so still, Yusuke wondered if he was truly asleep, and not dead, or in a coma. Finally, Yusuke's eyes fell on an empty bed, and a pain he had not felt in his entire lifetime filled him up so fully he swayed on his feet.

Now when people are saved from some deep depression they find themselves in, they are usually saved by the gentle kindness of a voice. A song from a radio. A best friend's hug. A loved one's kiss, but this is Yusuke Urameshi. What saved him and brought him back to reality was in fact, a loud snore coming from the bed right next to his.

"Kuwabara..."

A weak, but relieved smile flashed on Yusuke's face as he sat down on his own bed, looking at the orange haired man. The dark tournament was over, they had won and could go home. All but Genkai...she was dead she was gone. Yusuke put his face in his hands, and finally decided to give up. He'd woken eight times this night, each time from nightmares of losing his true mother figure. What was the point of sleeping when sleep could not aid him? Bring him peace which he so desperatly needed. Before his thoughts could go any further, he was disturbed by a loud snort.

Kuwabara again, had brought him from misery, and instead placed an amused smile on his face.

He looked back at Kuwabara who lay on his back, arms spread out away from him as far as they could go, his mouth open as he snored. He didn't snore loudly, except for large random snorts which seemed very comical to Yusuke. His position on the bed would be comical too, with his arms spread out so far away from him, if it wasn't for one thing.

The heavy bandages that were lightly freckled with blood just near his heart.

Yusuke approached him, and threw back the covers so he could look at the bandages better. Maybe it was his disturbed mind, or his depressed soul, or maybe he just didn't care, but he bent down and began to trace the blood spots on the bandages, unafraid of waking Kuwabara. Yusuke traced every light spot, and even the four darker ones. The one on Kuwabara's right, had the largest blood spot, where apparently Toguro had kept those two fingers together instead of apart. He pushed down on the spot, and Kuwabara stiffened and let out a small whimper.

At which, Yusuke jumped away, going to the wall near his bed, and pressing himself against it, fear, shock, and shame making him shake. Kuwabara had said it didn't hurt when Yusuke bandaged him. Kuwabara had even poked his own injuries, laughing saying he was fine. "But of course you lied," Yusuke whispered calming down, "I would have lied too." Yusuke approached him, and rubbed Kuwabara's cheek in a comforting manner. Kuwabara's pained expression melted away, and his body relaxed. Kuwabara leaned against the touch, and seemed to head back in a painless sleep once again. Yusuke then moved Kuwabara's arms so that they were at his side, and tucked him in.

Yusuke had no idea what was making him so bold, so unafraid of the consequences if Kuwabara woke up seeing him doing this. If Kuwabara did wake up, he'd drop to his knees, and hug him never letting go. He sat on his bed, wondering how he befriended his arch rival. How he cared so deeply for this man, so deeply that it scared and confused him.

Yusuke had never had a brother, but he had caught himself referring to Kuwabara as an annoying brother.

Yusuke had never had a male friend, only Keiko was his friend, and yet he caught himself calling Kuwabara his best friend.

Yusuke never fully felt happy, felt he had someone to talk to when it came to male issues, but he found himself confiding in Kuwabara more and more.

But the big thing, Yusuke never thought he'd give up his life for anyone, and here he was, knowing that if there was no other way, he'd stop fighting, he'd die, he'd give up the :WORLD, to save this man that people, such as himself, and Hiei, ridiculed with out mercy, or care. He'd give it all up, and just for this one man.

"You tried to give it all up for me didn't you?" Yusuke asked the slumbering man. Yusuke closed his eyes. He saw Kuwabara standing in that crooked form he took on when Toguro stabbed him. He saw the pain in his eyes, and the sweat that glistened on his body. The blood that came out of his chest like a blooming and wilting flower, and that smile...God that smile! Why smile when you're suffering and so close to death?

Had it meant to be a comfort directed for Yusuke? Had it meant to be something for Kuwabara himself, did he not want to die with a frown? Yusuke shuddered recalling how many time he'd seen that same smile on Kuwabara's pale face. When he lay on the ground after Rando's brutal torture, vowing he would not die until he beat Yusuke. There was that same smile.

When they were at the Maze castle, Kuwabara had smiled that same smile. When they first fought Toguro, and Kuwabara had convince Yusuke to shoot him to stop Toguro, that same smile had been there. And in this tournament, that smile had appeared almost every time! Every time...

Yusuke stared at the sleeping man, and came off his bed, and kneeled by his side. "Kuwabara?" He whispered, directly in the copper teen's air. Kuwabara mumbled but turned his face towards him. "Promise me you won't die," Yusuke whispered. Kuwabara let out a strange sound, and Yusuke said again, "Promise me Kuwabara, You won't die!"

"I won't Urameshi, now stop freakin' out!"

Yusuke jumped back, startled to see the rather alert eyes of Kuwabara staring at him. "Have you been awake this whole-" Kuwabara interrupted Yusuke's mad babbling, with, "Yes I have...all night. I know you keep waking up, and I know you're upset and scared." Kuwabara scooted over, and pat the bed, "Come in, get over here." Yusuke stared at him, and then clearly stated, "Hell no!" Kuwabara glared at him, "You're going to sleep here tonight, but before that, we are going to talk about what is bothering you, besides the fact that this tournament had been the most horrible thing in the tournament, and that you miss Genkai-" Yusuke was startled when Kuwabara choked there, and realized that the man might actually be suppressing tears.

Feeling very awkward, he crawled in bed next to Kuwabara, the orange haired man pulling the covers around the both of them, and then wrapping an arm around Yusuke. "I'm sorry," Kuwabara apologized after all of that was accomplished. "What? Why are you sorry!" Yusuke demanded staring at the teen he laid next to.

"I'm sorry...I almost made you watch me die," Kuwabara whispered, staring at the ceiling, "I'm sorry for many things that I've done to you...made you feel. God, I can only imagine watching you tell me you were going to die for my sake. That was cruel." Yusuke could hear the remorse, and deep sorrow in his voice, and with out a thought threw his arms around Kuwabara's chest, and finished what he started when he thought Kuwabara had left this world.

He cried, and cried, letting go of every thing that bothered him, that hurt him, and spilling his heart out to this man, who cried quietly with him, holding on to Yusuke tight. "I don't want you to die Kuwabara!" Yusuke sobbed, feeling rather pathetic, "I don't know why I care about your stupid asX but I do, so-so don't die! Don't die, please!" Kuwabara choked and whispered, "But he would have killed you Urameshi! I'd do anything to prevent that from happening to you, heh you know what I did before the last fight?"

Yusuke clung to Kuwabara listening his tears still pouring down his cheeks. "I went to Toguro's room, and met up with him and Sakyo and begged him not to kill you," Kuwabara half laughed wiping his face. Yusuke stared at him in shock and horror, "No! Kuwabara they could have-" Kuwabara nodded, "Yeah I know...You know Toguro placed his hands on my shoulders, and I thought he'd kill me but instead he just promised me to wait and see, but..." Kuwabara laughed shaking his head, his tears refusing to stop, "I shouldn't have been surprised when he chose me to kill, because he said, I would die before I watched him kill you."

Yusuke clung harder to Kuwabara, pressing his head against Kuwabara's shoulder, "I thought he was threatening me...no he'd been warning me." Kuwabara said with a snort. "I can't believe I didn't realize what he meant." Yusuke held onto his friend, who clung back just as tightly. Finally after long minutes, their tears stopped, and Yusuke whispered, "Promise me you won't die...never die...never leave me." Kuwabara pet Yusuke's head, "I can't truly promise you that anymore than you can promise me that...We'll always risk our lived to save each other, because I need you alive, and you need me alive, even if you don't want to admit it."

"I do admit it! I do need you at my side, you kept me a float through all these missions, I don't know what I'd do if you weren't there to hold me up anymore." Yusuke whispered throat feeling rough. Kuwabara nodded drying his face, and whispered, "I can promise you I'll try not to die, I promise you to try and live as long as I can." Yusuke nodded and held onto the man, feeling much more relaxed, and whispered, "I can promise that too." Kuwabara nodded, petting Yusuke's head sleepily, but with a slow comfort.

"G'night Urameshi."

"Sleep tight Kuwabara."

The next morning, Kurama and Hiei woke up early, and they were surprised to find Yusuke and Kuwabara sleeping next to each other, curled up peacefully. They didn't disturb the two but watched them, and Kurama finally spoke, "They must have realized what they had." Hiei nodded, and added, in his slow way, "And what they didn't want to lose."

end 


End file.
